Aru - 18 Mos - 72

Its that time of the year when everyone seems to know something about football, catching up with the World Cup 2006 mania thats happening as I write this, in Germany. In fact, I heard somewhere that special arrangements have been made to facilitate the visitors/fans to have safe sex.

But 86866688.72 miles apart there is a poor soul who's sitting in front of his computer and hitting mosquitos by the minute. (Infact I just smudged one onto the monitor)

Rules:

The rules of the game are slighlty different though, and there appears to be only -

Rule 1 - Players are allowed to use only hands. However, at no point of the game is it to be named 'handball', as it gives it a feminine touch to it.

Rule 2 - Touching one another will not be considered a goal, hitting or biting, whichever is possible will be considered duly as one.

Rule 3 - You can have the half-time when you're lucky to be without one another.

Rule 4 - Red card shown to refree forever. So, no refree.

Rule 5 - As far as time limit is concerned, you can either run out of the venue or fall asleep to reach full time.

I'm pretty sure every Indian plays this game in his/her household daily from......err.. depends as to until when such time they're awake. The following are some of the tactics you can follow.

Tactics:

1. If you're opponents are the Mosquitos, you can cleverly turn on the local mosquito repellent or 'All Out'.
2. Don't hit them while they're on your face. You don't need me to tell you how wonderful you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror every morning.
3. Whenever you hear a sound that goes something like this - 'goynnnnnnneeewaaaazzzzznnn', you better turn towards that ear and face the mosquito eye to eye. Though it won't scare them, you can get some time to size up your opponent.
4. If your hands are wet chances are that you feel you have been playing squash. However, it is you who must get things cleared up, if you know what I mean.
5. Listening to the commentary can be a bit demoralising. For instance when the commentary goes something like - "Goyyneee in the midfield....Wyynnee....Zzznnneee...Oh and Zzzznnneee strikes it...strikes it hard...AND ITS A GOAL!!!....Straight on to the face of the goalkeeper...."
   
6. Reading any more tactics will confuse you. So, concentrate!

I guess I have provided you with enough details to keep you playing the game. And currently the scores are -

Aru - 18
Mos - 72

Now once, the game is over, goynnnnnnneeewaaaazzzzznnn..........Shit!